day 614

dear mr. mays,

Happy day 614 of marriage!  :)  Most people write letters like this on anniversaries or birthdays, but I decided that EVERY day with you is worth celebrating.  So why not write you a letter today?

Marrying you was the best decision of my life.  That is NOT saying that the last 614 days have been perfect.  There have definitely been days when we've argued, when we miscommunicated and when we've hurt each other.  There have been days when we question why life seems so hard or why certain things have happened to us.  But even through the hard times, I'm glad that we're on the same team.

My love, I so appreciate you.  You come home at the end of the day and listen to a rundown of all the blogs, articles and books I've read that day and you actually engage in conversations about them.  Thank you for encouraging me and enabling me to get involved as a Key Spouse in the Air Force including helping me make and deliver the meals.  You are gracious and kind and you are an example of selflessness.  Sometimes you surprise me at how well you know me - it shows that you care to see me thrive, not simply survive.  You're a wonderful father to baby Hadden too and watching you two together makes me exceedingly happy.

can't wait to see what the next 614 days together hold!

love,
  miss glorioso (-mays)

thanks giving

(September 2012)

A staff member at our university used to quote one of his professors and tell us that when Christ returns, the only things He will take with Him are God's Word and God's people - so we should invest our lives into those things.  In that spirit, as I have been ruminating on this holiday, I am reminded of the things for which I am most grateful.

In addition to my many spiritual blessings (which really are the most important), the main things I am thanking Jesus for are these two.  I am humbled and awed by the blessings that they've been in my life thus far.  I am undeserving of such grace.

(also thankful for my parents and siblings today and missing all of you very much! go rock that turkey trot!)

it's really nice...

...to have a late-night texting conversation with a sister.

 Mr. Mays sleeps peacefully next to me as I wait for my phone to light up with a new message.  Here I am laying in bed late, late at night talking with littlest sister who is miles away from me.

And while we're talking about nice things, I decided today that I am so deliriously blessed to have a circle of support.  In other words, that I have two loving and caring parents and five incredible siblings (not to mention a pretty great brother-in-law and niece) and to top it all off, I have a few close friends who inspire me in hard times (mostly by how they have dealt with hard things in their own lives).

When I was so utterly frustrated with life's circumstances today, I called up mi madre and had a good long chat (well, mostly I talked and she listened very patiently).  And I was reminded to not take her (or any of these people) for granted.    I am eternally grateful for the way that these people have cared about my life. On the days when life is confusing and maddening and I wonder again what God is doing, it is nice to remember that sometimes He works by bringing us encouragement and support through other people.  And that these people, my circle of support, care infinitely about both Caleb and I (and our soon-to-be little one) and are willing to do whatever to support us.  Some days I feel God's love and experience His grace through other people and these family/friends of mine are some of those who do it best.

Isn't it wonderful that (in addition to giving us the Holy Spirit) He gives us people to make the road easier?  In the words of Sara Groves, life with others supporting you is "half as hard and twice as good".

And to littlest sister (who ever-so-sweetly responded to my thanks by simply saying "that's what sisters do!")... you made my night.  let's be sisters always, okay?  i think i'd like to keep you....

(I look completely cheesy in this picture, but that's because I was so happy!!  Thankfully the rest of my family makes up for me ;)

opposites attract: we are a testimony

My husband's description of the last three days: "She's had a touch of a headache."

My description of the last three days: "I was on the verge of death!!!!"

Now granted, I am probably exaggerating...slightly.  But I ASSURE you that I have had much, much more than "a touch of a headache".

Journal Entry October 25th, 2011

Disclaimer:  You might not understand this post.  I'm not asking you to.  :) 


"Talk to me," he says.

The words don't come.

But the tears do.

My heart and my bathtub are full.  There are words I wish to say.  And yet, I can't.

He takes my hand.  And the tears come again, for a new reason.  This man, this husband of mine is infinitely patient and kind.  In the words of another, "he is more patient with me than I am with myself."

I retreat again into my journal and my books and my Bible.  He stays near, but gives me the space to simply be.  I look over.  He sits at the kitchen table with his Bible open, seemingly unaware that I'm watching him.  My eyes go back to my papers.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see him glance up to check on me.  We sit silently.  Each of us half-engaged in our books; each pretending that we don't realize the other one watching.  It's a delusional game.

The gulf between us seems oh-so-wide.  It's not anger or frustration.  We didn't get into a fight.  We're just learning what it means to co-exist.  And learning that God is working on that other person so we need to step back and let Him work.  That's hard.

I bridge our emotional-Grand-Canyon by taking the few steps from the couch to the kitchen table.  He looks up with bright eyes, hoping that I'll have words to explain.

I don't.

As he wraps his arms around me, the tears come again.

I cry because I hurt.  I cry because I am loved and yet so undeserving of it.  I cry because I'm aware of my shortcomings and how un-Jesus-like I am.  I cry because this-thing-called-'marriage' is smoothing out all my rough edges and I know that I still have so much further to go.  I cry because this world is not my home.  And I am so very ready for the world that is my home.

He loves me.  Of this am sure.

And I'm pretty crazy about him too.  ;)

on the eve of my wedding

Tomorrow my dress may get wrinkled.  My makeup might get smeared.  My hair may get messed up.  It may rain and we might all get wet.  The food or the decorations or the music might not be to the liking of all of the guests.  Because of my illness, my legs may fail and I might just not be able to stand the whole time.  After all my careful planning, some details may simply fall apart at the last minutes.

But guess what?

I don't care!!!!

Tomorrow I am marrying my best friend.

And that is enough for me.

May God be honored through the wedding and even more so through the marriage.

currently reading/update

Currently reading...
1.  text messages (that's honesty, folks!)
2.  case notes for my job
3.  Psalms (especially 101 and 139)
4.  harry potter #5
5.  "The Help" (I've gotten through about 10 pages...I'll give it a proper review when I can do it a little more justice).
6.  "Creation & Blessing" (finishing up one last class of my undergrad)
7.  emails from Mr. Mays


24 days until the wedding.

My life is going through a huge transition right now.  I'm going to enjoy everything settling down and being able to get into a routine with my (soon to be) husband!  :)

bathtub of emotions

This has been one of the most helpful communication tools in my life so I thought I would share.  I think it's especially good on those days when I am in deep pain and working with people who don't understand what that's like.  I've explained this over and over again when I was an RA and working with girls.  Mr. Mays uses this a lot to understand what I'm thinking and why I'm responding a certain way.

Imagine that you have a bathtub for your emotions and for stress.  Each time something is stressful or upsetting, it adds to the tub.  When the bathtub is full, the reaction comes.  That's your personal limit and you response in anger, frustration, tears, or shutting down.

Each situation of life adds a different amount (and each person can handle different amount of stress).  For instance, if you lost your keys and were late to an appointment, that might have only filled up your bathtub 1/10 of the way.  Another day, your car may have been stolen and that is especially stressful to you, so your tub is half filled by that situation.

Here's the key:  Life piles up.  Stress piles up.


When you lose your keys and you suddenly melt into a puddle of tears, it might be hard for you (and others!!) to understand why that small situation was so upsetting.  After all, it only filled up your bathtub 10% of the way!   But what you've forgotten is that it's not just the lost keys....  Before that happened your emotional bathtub was already filled to 95% with other issues so that last 10% pushed you over the edge and your bathtub was overflowing.


Caleb knows when I'm upset about something to ask how full my bathtub is.  It sounds silly, but it really has helped us!  When my pain levels are up, my bathtub is already filled to about 80%!!!!!  So when something that is seemingly small happens, I can get upset quickly.  It has helped our relationship a lot for him to understand how many "little" issues are filling up that bathtub.



It's a very simple word picture.  But it's proven to be really helpful for me.  Hope that this can help others (especially those dealing with pain).  Chronic pain is debilitating.  When others can't understand, it is isolating.  And it's even worse when you can't even understand yourself.






Photo Credit:  http://mymodernroom.com/tag/bathtub/

wedding bell blues

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39 days until the wedding (I think....  Sometimes I lose track).

This seemed appropriate for the day.  Let's be done with the wedding and move on to the marriage!!

Now if only Mr. Mays would change his first name to "Bill"....  ;)

Currently Reading: A Family's Guide to the Military for Dummies

A Family's Guide to the Military for Dummies
by Sheryl Garrett and Sue Hoppin

In 59 days, I'm getting married (!!!) and soon thereafter, Mr. Mays (who will technically be Lieutenant Mays by that point) and I will be moving to Mississippi with the Air Force.  Since I like to know as much as I possibly can before I go into a new situation, I started scouring the internet and the libraries for information on being a military family.  This book has helped a lot!  Here are just a few of the topics covered:
  - shopping at the commissary
  - Tricare options
  - understanding military compensation 
  - pros and cons of living in on base housing
  - all those silly little acronyms (CONUS, for instance)
  - military benefits
  - childcare/school options
  - family support centers

This book really does cover a lot of topics and I learned a great deal.  I did have to weed through a few things because certain parts didn't apply to us.  There was a lot of information about raising children while you're in the military and we just aren't at that point in life yet.

If you happen to read this post and you and/or your spouse as ever been in the military, comment and let me know your favorite part about being in the military.  And also perhaps tell me something that you struggled with.  :)  I'd love to hear what you have to say!

song for today

thanks to my AWESOME sister and brother-in-law, this is one of mr. mays and my favorite songs.  :)

Currently Reading: Evidence Not Seen

Evidence Not Seen: A Woman's Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II
Darlene Deibler Rose

Mr. May's grandmother saw me reading while I stayed with them in Michigan and passed along this book.  I've always liked biographies (especially missionary biographies) so I was excited to own it.  (I'm pretty much happy to own any book though).

Anyway, the story is incredible.  Within the first year of marriage, Darlene moves from a small town in Iowa to New Guinea.  When World War II begins, she and her husband are taken hostage and separated to different POW camps.  She spends four years in the camp (that's the part I'm in right now).

This woman is pretty incredible.  She tells the story of what happened, but she never dwells on the facts too long.  In fact, she almost seems to downplay the situations...she's as cool as a cucumber in situations where I would have been terrified.  Perhaps what I like most is that Darlene always credits God with working things out...she was completely reliant on Him and simply acted with faith knowing that He would take care of her.


I was a bit nervous starting this book...since I was a little girl I've always had nightmares whenever I read/watch anything related to World War II.  So generally I just avoid reading "extra" books from this time period (clearly, I've had history for all my school years so I've read a lot on this era due to that).  Is it normal to see have nightmares when you're an adult??

Update from the last currently reading post:  I finished the book and really, really liked it.  I would highly recommend it and I liked Stafford's approach.  Since finishing it last week I had continued to think about it, especially as my job means I work with a lot of children!  It's also come up in several conversations I've had.

i. hate. my. mac.

Subtitle: Computer Woes

Ok.  That's not true.  I really love my mac.  We're just going through a little bit of a "phase" right now.  (Sounds like parents talking about their teenagers!)

Last winter, my hard drive crashed.  I lost everything.

So...I got a new hard drive.  And an external hard drive.  And I backed it up religiously.

Last week, my hard drive crashed again.

I took it into the Mac store and the guy said, "Well, you'll need a new hard drive.  Is it backed up?"

"Yep.  I backed it up earlier this week."

"Awesome!  Then you'll just need a new hard drive and then reinstall your OS."

That's easy enough.

One new hard drive and new OS later...I plug in my external hard drive to discover that although all the dates are there when I backed up my computer, there aren't any files!  Thanks a lot, Time Machine! I should have just backed it up myself.  :(  And...everything just "feels" wrong...it doesn't feel like my computer at all.  I've had problems with even the most basic program installations.

Enough of my computer woes!  It's just technology...and in the course of all eternity, it doesn't matter that much.  Hopefully when Mr. Mays flies in next week (!!), he'll be able to help me a little bit more.  He's much more tech-y than I am.  We're usually on opposite sides of this mac v ps war.  But I'm afraid that with all my mac problems, I'm losing ground in this battle....

On the off chance (the very off chance) that a macintosh executive ever reads this:  you would very much restore my faith in your company if you fixed this problem!  :(

engaged. as in, getting married.

The day was April 13th, 2011.

The weather was sublime.

He asked. And I said, "yes!"

I received a stunning sapphire ring (I wanted something different from diamond. And I love my ring).

We spent a couple blissful hours enjoying nature, each other's company and dinner. Then we slowly began telling people, beginning with those closest and most important to us.

Together we are trying to savor these fleeting, happy moments. We haven't set a date or dealt with the "details" of everything yet. We'll start that soon enough. Tonight we're going to celebrate by dinner out at Thai 9 and spending some time thinking, praying and dreaming.

I am working to have the emphasis to be on the MARRIAGE, not the wedding. The most amazing wedding in the world means nothing if the marriage is weak. We are in desperate need of Christ as the center of our relationship now and always.

thank you for celebrating with us!

goin' on a picnic, leaving right away, if it doesn't rain we'll stay all day!

today is beautiful and fresh! my body is telling me to spend the day in bed, but my heart is overflowing with gratitude for this weather which seems to be an echo of eden. spring is officially here!

a celebration was in order.

so i collected some friends and planned a picnic.

first we're driving to yellow springs to pick up food from this incredible place. yum!!

then we'll head over to John Bryan or perhaps The Gorge and find some lovely little spot to picnic.

caleb and i will end the evening seeing this play on campus.

oh happy, happy day!! hope that your day is just as wonderful.

I smiled today because of...

...this bed. In my lovely little dream world my child will have a bed like this one day. I would claim it for myself, but I'm afraid I would be tempted to stay in bed forever! It's so darling!





...this wonderful man. He is so, so good to me and I don't deserve him.






...this article. It was a rueful smile because I realized how often I do this in life. What a challenge to embrace the Word wholly and completely. And a challenge to study carefully what I do not understand.


...this website. A charity wedding registry? SUCH a cool idea! I especially think of organizations like Daughters of Cambodia who are redeeming women from the awful world of human trafficking. As you begin a new chapter of life (marriage), wouldn't it remarkable to help give someone else a new and gloriously different life as well?

...an answer to prayer. A chance to rejoice with a beloved mentor. A reminder that God is in control even though life seems so incredibly enigmatic and painful.