**This post in an introduction to the posts that will follow on Tuesday and Wednesday, which are especially important if you’re stationed here at Offutt AFB. I’m partnering with the Offutt Spouse and Partner Resilience team to spread the news about their incredible program. I’ve written on the bathtub of emotions a few times in
the past, but this post was original**
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
On a normal day, my husband being late from work wouldn’t be
a big deal. But today, everything was piling up.
It was Friday and the end of a long, long week. My son had been sick for a few days so we had
been stuck inside to keep our germs contained.
Earlier in the week he had just wanted to be snuggled, but today he was
feeling a bit better. In fact, he was
feeling just well enough that he was grouchy! Every few moments he collapsed
into a puddle of tears if I didn’t know what he wanted or didn’t help him
quickly enough.
My chronic pain had flared up again and a migraine was on
its way, dizzying my sight. My son took
a ridiculously short nap, which meant I had a long list of work that still
needed to be done. Usually I would have
grabbed a coke to help a bit with the migraine, but this week we were not
eating sugar, so that wasn’t an option. My
husband told me he would be home early only to have a last-minute emergency
that meant he stayed much later than normal.
I was ready to tap-out of the parenting thing (actually the life thing)
for just a few minutes of respite, but it just wasn’t going to be happening
right then.
“My bathtub is full.”
I told my husband over the phone. He knew what that meant.
Years ago, I heard that phrase from an allergist, describing
how people with food sensitivities can eat little bits of a food and feel okay as long as
those little bits don’t add up to equal a serious reaction.
I have adapted the phrase for my emotions. Have you ever cried over a glass of spilled
milk only to chide yourself for being upset over something so innocuous? Usually, if you trace back over the last few
days, you realize that the spilled milk was just the straw that broke the
camel’s back. So you aren't crying over just spilled milk.
Going back to the bathtub analogy, stress is like water in a bathtub.
Each stressor might only add a couple inches of water, but when you have
five or six different stressors, it adds up quickly. When my chronic pain was at a peak, it felt
like each day started with my bathtub three-quarters of the way filled. I had such little room for extra stressors so
I found that little things upset me far more than they should have.
A bathtub for emotions is a silly metaphor, but it works for me. Countless times it has helped me communicate my stress level to my husband with just that one sentence: "My bathtub is full."
Do you have a similar phrase or metaphor for dealing with stress?
A bathtub for emotions is a silly metaphor, but it works for me. Countless times it has helped me communicate my stress level to my husband with just that one sentence: "My bathtub is full."
Do you have a similar phrase or metaphor for dealing with stress?
