There are days when the pain is overwhelming.
Yet worse than the physical battle is the mental one.
My mind regurgitates old thoughts, ones I thought I had dealt with.
this isn't fair. is God actually good? i am in this alone. why me? my body and my soul ache, they long for refreshment. will it ever be over? no one understands will i ever get answers?
I shut myself off from people who care. Unintentionally, I shut myself off from God.
"Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?"
I am quick to fatigue. Quick to forget His gifts. I long for a land that exudes milk and honey and grumble that He isn't providing. But I am overlooking daily miraculous provision of manna.
He will work.
He will provide.
He will sustain.
It is not a question of whether He will work miraculously.
He can choose to provide a miracle of healing or choose to provide a miracle of grace. Each are miraculous in their own way.
The real question is whether or not I will have eyes to see it.
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