The Best of the Month: MARCH

Each month, I'm collecting my favorite posts from around the internet and on the last day of the month, I'll be sharing them here.  Some of these are posts that I deeply resonate with and others are ones that made me think or reconsider.  I'll also be sharing my favorite thing I've written this month.


CHRISTIANITY

Zack Hunt at The American Jesus: Complementarianism: The Church's Segregation Problem

"The language may be slightly – and only slightly – different, but at its core complementarianism is little more than the church’s sanctified version of Jim Crow. 

Like its segregationist forefather, complementarianism is a deceptively eloquent way to keep one group in power (men), while marginalizing another (women) based on an accident of birth (genitals). Where once minorities were “separate, but equal,” now women are “equal, but different.” It’s segregation in the name of Jesus. In the name of the very Christ who shattered the gender divide, women are kept separate from the pulpit, separate from leadership in the church, and separate from leadership in the home."

MILITARY

Kim at She Is Fierce: War is Over (And I'm Not Ready To Reflect)

 "You might tell me of the cost of the war, and how it wasn't worth the lives 

And you will look at me with pity, and you will tell me that I must be so grateful to know he doesn't have to go again. 

You may tell me all of this not to be hurtful, but because you assume it must be true. 

And I won't tell you that you are wrong, because what you think I should feel makes more sense than what I do. 

I will assume, because I am just as set in my thoughts and ways as everyone else, that you don't actually want to hear what it really feels like. 

It really feels like defensiveness. 

Because every time the news reports on how useless it all was, well it seems like that is somehow a personal attack on what my family gave up, which was a tiny sacrifice compared to what other families lost."

PARENTING

Sarah Bessey: In which I don't mind if my tinies see me on the computer

"I don’t feel guilty taking them along when we get groceries or pay bills or drop off library books or help others or any other of the chores and tasks and work that goes into running this little family. 

Maybe my prairie kid work ethic is showing. My grandpa raised our clan to know that truth: work is honourable.Now I’ve rounded that out with the belief that work is also a gift from God, part of our heritage as co-creators with God. Particularly when our work – paid or unpaid – is personally fulfilling, an act of creativity or beauty or usefulness. What a gift to be able to work! 

So, is it a shameful thing for a mother to work on the computer while her children are present? Nope. 

Not only is it not damaging to my tinies to see me – gasp! – working on the computer while they’re here, I believe it’s downright good for them."

RECIPE

Christy at The Girl Who Ate Everything: Swig Sugar Cookies

(Technically these were posted in February, but I didn't make them until March.  Still, SO GOOD!)

WRITING:

Dorcas Cheng-Tozun at the Redbud Writers Guild Blog: Why Writing Terrifies Me - And How That's Changing My Life

"But for me, being a writer is also terrifying. And it is for that very reason that I believe God has called me into it. Like so many things in life, he is using this to both bless and transform me. In particular, he is challenging me to lay down three powerful idols that I have clung to for most of my life: people-pleasing, achievement, and perfectionism."

MY OWN WRITING:

Honesty in a Culture of Church Taboos at RELEVANT magazine

"Churches preach the benefits of living in community, yet we somehow forget that living in true community is guaranteed to be messy and complicated. While we talk of authenticity, Church often remains a place where you can’t be honest. 

Church should be a place muddled with honesty and real-life messiness. And it should be a place where a shame-filled person can find relief. It should be a place where shame loses its power."

What was the best thing you read (or wrote!) this month?

Books for the Journey: Women and Christianity

When I was an undergrad at our Christian college, I had a group presentation about women's roles in the Church.  If I recall correctly, we had about a month to prepare.  That sounds like a lot of time, but a month in the middle of college (with four or five other classes, extracurricular activities and lots of other homework assignments to juggle) goes by pretty quickly.  Our professor's goal was for us to take that month, do an in-depth study and emerge with a conclusion.  But a month isn't a lot of time to tackle a subject that complicated!

Up to that point, I had always been taught (and believed) that women couldn't be pastors or elders or have leadership over men in churches.  But I was beginning to question all that.  I saw the inconsistencies in hermeneutics, the incomplete arguments and knew there must be more to the issue than I had been taught.  But, unfortunately, it was a lot easier to just parrot the opinions I'd been given for years, find a few sources, make my powerpoint and take my easy A.

In a lot of ways, I'm disappointed with myself that I didn't go deeper then because I stood in front of a class and taught complementary views even when I had hesitations.  But to be fair, I think this issue (and many others) has been a lot more of a journey, than an assignment.  I've been researching and discussing this issues for several years now and, while I feel I've made a lot of progress, I don't think that the issue is closed to me yet.  I'm still learning from new writers and friends and still forming my opinions.  Perhaps I'll always be.

Last week I wrote a review of the book Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey, which sparked a fun discussion in the comment section and gave me a chance to pull all that knowledge I've been storing up.  As I responded to comments, I realized that I just kept recommending books, which is in line with my undergrad experience.  Majoring in psychology meant a lot of papers and even more references.  And it doesn't hurt that I just happen to like books. ;)  Because of that post, I decided to put together a list of some of my favorite books on women and Christianity.

I'm labeling this "books for the journey" because I want to encourage people to view it that way.  It certainly has been a journey for me, and, in talking with other people, I feel like that's a common sentiment.  I don't expect a complementarian to read my post about Jesus Feminist and immediately change their mind about women's roles in the Church.  But if something I write piques their curiosity and that curiosity causes them to pick up a book and that book causes them to reconsider, THAT is worth it to me.

So here are the books that have helped me on this journey of discovering where women fit into Christianity.  I'm not saying that I agree 100% with each of these books, but each has caused me to think and helped me develop a more robust understanding of feminism and Christianity.  It is VERY hard for me to write 3-4 sentence book reviews, but I'm just giving a quick summary to explain why I'm recommending it.

1. Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible's View of Women

Obviously, I liked this book.  You can read my whole review here, but I just say a quick bit here as well.  I appreciated Sarah's gracious tone and how she prays "for unity beyond conformity" (p. 5).  She advocates for "grace and kindness...especially for those who we believe are profoundly wrong" (p. 5).  If you're just beginning to research this subject, this book would be a good one to start with.

2. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide

Half the Sky is another great book to read if you're just beginning this journey.  And when you do get to the other books on this list, you'll see Half the Sky quoted over and over again!  Kristof and WuDunn explore how women all over the globe have been subjugated simply because of their gender.  Oh, and there's also a documentary by the same name if you feel like I'm listing too many books!  

3. Half the Church: Recapturing God's Global Vision for Women

This title is obviously a play off of Half the Sky, but it's on another important topic: women in the Church.  Carolyn Custis James encourages her readers to look at these issues through a global and historical lens, instead of simply through our American perspective.

4. A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband "Master"

I read Rachel's book last year and loved it (although her first book, Evolving in Monkey Town, is still my favorite!).  Rachel spends a year examining (and living!) God's commands for women.  It's funny and thought provoking.  So much more I could say about this book, but I'll leave it at this: read it.

5. Slaves, Women & Homosexuals: Exploring the Hermeneutics of Cultural Analysis

If you're looking for a book that goes in depth on the hermeneutics of women in the Bible, this is it.  It is very academic and I still haven't made it through, but what I have read has been wonderful.  It comes recommended by my friend and mentor, Marlena Graves, who is one of the most trustworthy people I know.

6. Good News for Women: A Biblical Picture of Gender Equality

I read this for a college class my senior year and it was the first book I read from an egalitarian perspective.  Until that point, I had always been taught from a complementary perspective, both implicitly and explicitly.  Groothuis' book gave me the confidence and the curiosity to continue on this journey.

7. ProLife Feminism: Yesterday and Today

 This is in my "to read" pile, but comes highly recommended.  Sometimes in conservative Christian circles, I think we see the word 'feminist' and immediately think of abortion.  And I think that's a dangerous correlation.  Certainly, there are many people who are both feminist and pro-choice.  But this book shows that there is a very strong history of feminists who are also pro-life.  (Side note: I hate the terms pro-life and pro-choice terms as they are misleading and inflammatory, but I am using them here because I think it is the easiest way to explain what I mean)


And if you're looking for something FREE that you can read right now, I recommend this article by The Junia Project dealing with I Timothy 2:12, which is one of the most confusing verses in this conversation.  And make sure you read the comments too!


Okay, it's your turn!  What books have helped you?

**This post contains Amazon Associates links

currently reading: Jesus Feminist

"exploring God's radical notion that women are people, too"

"I'll never fit in with Christian women..."

I said these hushed words to my husband as we left a small group one night.  

Looking back, I can see that it was kind of a silly statement.  The night had been discussions of children and cooking and clothing - things that I actually do enjoy, but they felt frivolous at the time.  I was missing deep conversation and connection.  During the long, lonely hours as a SAHM I was (am) mentally wrestling through all that I read on popular Christian sites.  

Why were these amazing debates taking place online and in books where Christian women spoke with strong voices and yet, when I went to Church, I felt like all the women talked about were recipes and kids and decorating and dieting?  Was the conversation only happening online?  

Reading Sarah Bessey's book, Jesus Feminist

, I'm realizing that I was wrong ( and that I should probably get used to that feeling).  I think that all over Christendom these women - strong women who want to challenge and to be challenged - do exist.  But maybe, like me, they're used to churches telling women to be "gentle and quiet", but not telling them to use leadership skills.  And they're used to churches with a "brain-check" at the front door next to the coat check.  And they're used to feminism being "the f word" in Church.  And so, like me, these women have decided to just take the easy route and keep their voices to hushed tones.

But what I'm realizing is that strong women who want more from the Church are all around me.  And I'm so excited to see where that takes me in the next year of hard conversations and growing friendships and women challenging women to do more and be better.

Whew.  All that was just an intro to my thoughts on the book.  I'll try to hurry up after this.  :)  

{I am a bit self-conscious about posting pictures of myself...and I am a Jesus feminist ;) 

 Also, if you didn't know, Sarah collected pictures of people with similar signs.

I didn't come up with this idea on my own. }

Jesus Feminist

 surprised me.  I expected Sarah Bessey's writing to be bold and scandalous and very heavy on research.  And it was, in some ways.  But what surprised me was how personal this book was.  Sarah wrote to ME.  Her words were like a thick blanket wrapped around my shoulders, cocooning and comforting.  She asks her readers to "lay down our ideas, our neatly organized Bible verses, our carefully crafted arguments" (p.1) and instead, invites us to a conversation.     

From the beginning, Sarah wrote gently and kindly and truthfully.  While many people might have negative stereotypes they associate with the word "feminist" (read: angry, bitter), Sarah's tone is completely different.  It was a bit off-setting for me at the beginning because this book was not what I expected.  If you're looking for a book goes through each verse pertaining to women and painstakingly proves (or disproves) why you should be a feminist, this is not the book you're looking for.  This book is about leaving our entrenched sides and coming together to see the Kingdom of God at work.  It was obvious that the book was well-researched, but it was not scholarly.  

I loved how Sarah used her own life stories (and those of her friends) in this book.  She writes of childhood and childbirth, marriage and ministry, hurts and happiness.  She combines stories and Scriptures and quotes and hard truth, and when it all comes together, it works.  It captured my attention and engaged both my brain and my heart.  

One part stuck out to me: "Often when a woman exhibits leadership, she's accused of having that Jezebel spirit.  I look forward to the day when women with leadership and insight, gifts and talents, callings and prophetic leanings are called out and celebrated as Deborah, instead of silenced as a Jezebel" (p. 92)  Yes.  Yes!  I wish this wasn't revolutionary in western Christianity, but it is!  And I too look forward to the day when women are celebrated as leaders, scholars and pastors in the Church.  

I've read criticism that Sarah's book didn't go far enough.  And I understand where those people are coming from.  In some ways, I do think she could have pushed further.  But I think she ended up with a gracious book that will speak to both sides and will start the conversation rolling in churches.  Rather than focusing on the minute details, Sarah looks at the bigger picture.  To her, being a feminist is being part of the Kingdom of God here on earth.

Before reading this book, I was comfortable calling myself a Christian and a feminist.  But Sarah's book helped me delve deeper into the conflation of those, which I appreciate.  This is a book I plan to read again and will recommend to friends, both male and female.  I am already looking forward to the conversations that will take place because of Jesus Feminist

.

My rating: 5 stars

{Finished book on my little red desk}

If you've read Jesus Feminist

 (or read Sarah's blog), I'd love for you to let me know what you thought! :)

**This post contains Amazon Associates links

{good reads} december 13th edition

Like I said before, I'm away for an extended amount of time, so forgive these posts that are light on the writing side.  But I often find articles I want to pass on so I thought I'd share a few today.


In which this is also about the men {Sarah Bessey}
I love Sarah Bessey's writing and recently began reading her new book Jesus Feminist - I'm just a chapter or two in and it's already blowing me away!  She has great things to say about women, but this post is about men.

"Part of the reason I am so passionate about women’s issues in the world today is because I am also passionate about men. I’m the mother of a strong little boy. I’m the wife of a strong man. I’m the daughter of a strong man.  And the men in my life are Jesus feminists.  I cannot fathom my life without my men...Feminism is not matriarchy. I don’t know any one who would like to replace the system of patriarchy with the system of matriarchy.  Feminism is simply equality..In the Kingdom of God, we don’t have to choose between lifting up men or lifting up women, it’s not one or the other: it’s both together, it’s the sacred union, the created purpose as co-image bearers of God."

So You're Feeling Too Fat to be Photographed {Teresa Porter) 

"Seeing myself in pictures actually produces the faintest sick feeling in my stomach. Isn’t it amazing we can see the beauty in our best friends, sisters, mothers, and aunts without the slightest thought to their flaws . . . but can obsess for hours on our own imperfections? We fixate on our flaws to the point we shirk at any documentation that our round faces and curvy bodies ever walked the earth. No pictures to show how we LOVE, how we laugh, how we are treasured by our families. How is it possible that a double chin can overpower the beauty of a mother cuddling her child? How does arm fat distract from the perfect shot of a spontaneous hug? I swear y’all . . . how is it that we can put more value on a TUMMY ROLL than the captivating way you throw yourself into a roar of laughter during a shoot?

10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out {Brynn Harrington}

"I’ll never talk to my daughter about fitting into THAT DRESS.  But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot.  I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency.  I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it.  And I’ll leave the rest up to her."