What Kept Me in Church Was Communion

"It wasn't preaching or programs; what kept me in Church was communion"

("Do This" by Matt via Creative Commons license on Flickr)

I am one of those Millennials who seem to be leaving the Church in droves (at least, according to everything I’ve been reading in Christian books, magazines and blogs).  

I grew up in the Church, was home-schooled and spent two years working with a Christian ministry before heading to a Christian college where I met my husband.  The perfect (American) Christian story, it seemed. 

But I am also a critic.  

When I left college, I took a long, hard look at Christianity.  I used to believe in all of it.  But I was no longer sure.  I had seen plenty of people who were Christians in the same way that other people are golfers.  It was their hobby; it was how they made friends, how they chose their reading material and it dictated where they spent their Sunday mornings.  

But I knew that if I was going to stick with this Christianity thing, it had to be something more.  Like so many of my generation, I wanted to be a Christian not because I was raised that way, but because I was convinced that I couldn’t live an honest life apart from Christ.

For a while I wasn’t sure where I would end up.  After twenty-four years of weekly sermons and four years of daily chapel services, I didn’t miss preaching.  I found community other places (in our case, with fellow military families).  I listened to beautiful music, saw beautiful art that spoke to me and propelled my soul into states of worship. To be unflatteringly frank: I didn’t miss Church.

But we kept going.  

And, like I assumed proper for a believer, I used small talk and a smile to dam up my doubts. 

Eventually, we started attending a new church.  They had good preaching and music.  The community was strong.  But what struck me was the fact that they practiced Communion every week.  I’ve attended many churches in my life, but this was the first time where Communion was an integral and expected part of each service. 

The first time I took Communion there, I was left shaken.  “Why?” I wondered.  “I’ve taken Communion so many times and never felt particularly moved.”  There were small differences, actual loaves of bread and goblets of wine, instead of stale wafers and tiny cups of grape juice.  But there was more.   

There was something in Communion that I couldn’t deny.

When my eyes locked into the lay minister’s and he said, “Christ’s Body, broken for you,” I believed him.  When I dipped that scrap of bread, humble yet holy, into the communion wine, it sent shivers down my spine.  “Christ’s blood, spilled for you.”  This was the Gospel, simple and true.

It wasn’t a fancy program or a new method to “reach my generation.” It was following the example of Christ when He said, “Do this in remembrance of me.”  And I did: I remembered Him.

When the cynicism of Christianity scabbed over my heart, the simplicity of the Gospel ripped it open again.  In my remembrance of Him, the offenses I held against the modern Church faded away.  

Had I seen Bible verses spewed as weapons against those we were supposed to love?  Absolutely.  But Christ’s Body was broken for me.  Was I disgusted that some Christians (including myself at times) acted like a person’s love for Jesus could be determined by their hemline or haircut?  Yes.  But Christ’s blood was poured out.  For me!

Each week it was the same.  I appreciated that our Church had good music and preaching.  And I learned and I grew from those.  But what brought me back each week was Communion.  I couldn’t wait until the end of each service to migrate from our seats to the stations at the front.  Each week I went away affected, changed.  It never got old.

Shauna Niequist writes in Bread & Wine,

 “Like every Christian, I recognize the two as food and drink, and also, at the very same time, I recognize them as something much greater – mystery and tradition and symbol.  Bread is bread, and wine is wine, but bread-and-wine is another thing entirely.  The two together are the sacred and the material at once, the heaven and earth, the divine and the daily.”

Growing up Protestant, I somehow got the impression that I shouldn’t take the Lord’s Supper too seriously.  “It’s just a sign, a symbol, after all”, said the voices in my head.  But I stopped caring about those voices.  I wasn’t sure what was going on as I partook in Communion, but I knew that it was changing me. 

In her spiritual memoir about converting to Christianity, Lauren Winner writes how, before she was even eligible to receive communion, she insisted on attending a church that practiced it each week.  “I didn’t understand what it was, exactly, or how it worked, but I knew, deeply, that the Eucharist was somehow essential, that it was the heart of what we do in those spired buildings”.  

Her words resonate with me: communion is the heart of what we do, which makes me wonder why many churches practice it so infrequently.  Why have preaching and music been elevated to a weekly status, but communion has been pushed to a monthly or even quarterly occurrence?  

It’s as if we’ve somehow decided that God can reach people with words (preaching), but He doesn’t really use actions (communion).  

But sometimes I wonder if there are others like me in the church; people who have heard enough words and really just want to see Jesus. 

And that is what I love about communion: it is so clearly about Jesus.  

In spite of my cynicism, I couldn’t deny Him when faced plainly with the truth of His sacrifice: His body, broken, His blood, spilled.  It is Christ, and him crucified (I Corinthians 2:2).  

And after seeing so many programs aimed at “reaching people”, I appreciate that communion is free of gimmicks.  It’s eating and drinking, and yet it is so much more.  Each time I partake, I remember that Jesus Himself established this act and that the church has practiced it through the ages with these same words and these same elements.  Amazing. 

Each week my soul is rattled anew as I receive Christ’s body and blood.  What that even means I’m not even sure.  But C.S. Lewis reminds me that “the command, after all, was Take, eat: not Take, understand”.  

And so, I take and eat with joy.  And hope that one day, perhaps, I’ll understand.     

("Christ Institutes the Eucharist" by Lawrence OP via Creative Commons license on Flickr)

**another post on communion: broken and spilled.

currently reading: Bittersweet

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My book review in fewer than 10 words: 

IT IS SO GOOD! GO BUY A COPY IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

My book review in more than 10 words:

If you've read my review of Shauna Niequest's book Bread & Wine, it will probably come as no surprise that I loved this book as well.  Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way is Shauna's second book, which she wrote in between Cold Tangerines and Bread & Wine.  I am just now starting Cold Tangerines, which means that I have read her books exactly opposite as to how she wrote them.

As the title suggests, Bittersweet is written out of a season of loss and frustration in Shauna's life that will later yield good lessons.  This is a book that not everyone will understand.  But if you, too, have had a season where it feels like you are just bracing yourself for the next blow, for whatever disaster God or fate could send you next, this may be the book you need to read.

Bittersweet is a collection of essays that cover all sorts of things: the loss of a job and the loss of a baby.  Moving away from loved ones and making new ones.  Cooking and gatherings round tables.  Grace, grace, and more grace.  Friendships, families, motherhood and more.

In "Grace is the New Math," she writes of keeping a tally of the good and the bad of a person's life and calculating up their worth.  "Grace is smashing the calculator, and using all the broken buttons and pieces to make a mosaic."

This book came at the perfect time in my life.  I am, just now, slowly, calling myself a writer.  I haven't been able to say it aloud to someone, but I'm working on that.  In "Love Song for the Fall" Shauna writes about writing.  She says, "...it's hard work, fraught with fear and self-consciousness..."  It is silly, of course, but I assume that fantastic writers sit down at the computer and the correct words flow out with no effort.  When I read that she had to force herself to sit down and work, suddenly writing was normalized for me.  This is difficult for everyone.  This is not always enjoyable.  This takes time.  This. is. difficult.

Multiple essays are on the subject of miscarriage.  Although I would never be bold enough to say that I understand miscarriage, her words gave me a window into what mothers must be feeling after the loss of a baby.  She writes of remembering the due date and thinking about "what might have been."  She tells readers to "say something" after a tragedy, even if it is awkward and you are not sure what to say.  I told my husband that if we know someone who miscarries, I'd like to buy them this book in addition to being there for them.  What I meant was that I wanted to give them words when they might not know how to express what they are feeling and, since I can't relate to that experience at this point in my life, I want to hand them a reminder that they are not alone.  

Earlier I said, "Go buy this book immediately!"  I was serious.  

Watermelon Feta Salad (from Bread and Wine)

Last week I reviewed Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist and mentioned that I was going to try her Watermelon Feta Salad.  Well, we did and it was superb!  I made it for lunch one day as part of our summer produce challenge.

To be honest, when I was preparing it, I was nervous that it was going to live up to my expectations.  But it did!  I ate two bowls for lunch (which is really unheard of for me) and a couple hours later, I had a third bowl for a snack!!  Today I made it for lunch again and I'm already looking forward to the leftovers with dinner tonight!  :)

I've been telling people to try this recipe and they have responded with, "Well, send it to me!".  After a few Google searches, I realized that the recipe must not be online so I'm sharing it here.

Watermelon Feta Salad
From Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist

Ingredients:

8 cups watermelon, cubed
8 ounces feta cheese, crumbled
3 tablespoons fresh mint, chopped
1/4 of a red onion, finely chopped
10 ounces arugula
2 limes
1/4 cup white balsamic vinegar or white wine vinegar
1/2 cup olive oil
   salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

Cube 8 cups of watermelon, and let the cubes marinate in the juice of one fresh squeezed lime for several hours.

Vinaigrette:

Combine the fresh squeezed lime juice and zest from the remaining lime, white balsamic vinegar or white wine vinegar, olive oil, salt, and pepper.

At serving time, toss arugula with half the vinaigrette, and combine watermelon, feta, red onion, and fresh mint.  Layer the watermelon mixture over the arugula, and drizzle with remaining vinaigrette.

Serves: 6 to 8

currently reading: Bread & Wine

I loved this book.  And, just to be clear, I've never begun a book review that way!  

Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes is Shauna Niequist's third book.  Unlike many other reviewers, I knew little about Niequist before I began the book.  Really, I only knew that she was a blogger, but I'd never even visited her site.  But with this book, she won me over.  It felt like I was hearing from a kinded spirit and, over and over, I found myself nodding, crying, laughing and drawing little pencil hearts in the margin to mark my favorite points.   

The book is arranged into four sections, each consisting of about 10 essays.  Most of the essays are followed by a recipe referenced therein.  I liked the essay format because it was easy to read a little at a time.  Food, of course, is the predominate theme throughout the book, but addition topics include Christianity, infertility, miscarriage, family, friends, body image/self-confidence, parenting, hospitality and running.  Her life was transparent in these pages.  Sometimes that was hilarious, for instance, when she talks about training to run a marathon ("the runners themselves kind of freaked me out").  Other times the honesty was sobering and convicting.  The essay 'Hail Mary' made me cry as she talked about being all alone in the hospital with a very sick baby and I thought of my own baby and how terrifying that would be.

Niequist is a foodie.  She admits to obsessing over dinner parties and getting carried away when planning events.  But it didn't come across as snobby.  In fact, what I loved about the book was that she urged the reader to 'Start Where You Are' (the title of one essay).  She says to "order pizza and serve it with a green salad and a bottle salad dressing."  In other words: don't let not being a perfect chef stop you from entertaining.  This same idea was seen in another essay 'Open the Door' where talked about hosting in less-than-perfect situations (e.g. a tiny apartment).  Over and over again, you see how Niequist sees food as a way to connect with people.  And that's what I loved.  This book was about food, yes, but it was about more than that.  

As I said before, I knew very, very little about Niequist before this book.  Through reading the book, I picked up on the fact that her parents must be well-known.  A quick Google search told me that she is the daughter of Bill and Lynne Hybels (the founders of Willow Creek Church).  Near the end of the book, she mentions hosting a dinner for a family friend named Shane.  As she described a little more about him I realized was Shane Claiborne.  While Niequist could have done a lot of name-dropping throughout the book (it's clear that her family is well-connected), I appreciated that she didn't.  She just wrote.  She was simply honest and, with that, she won me over.

Since I'd never read any of her other writing (blog or books), I do wonder if this could have felt like a repeat to some readers.  I have read other books by bloggers and, sometimes, it seems that they simply recycle their blog material and turn it into a book.  So much of this book is based on Niequist's life, so there may be repeated stories from other places.

When the book first arrived, I was itching to open it, but I had another book/review I needed to finish first.  So I just read the first essay.  I read a little aloud to my husband because I was so struck by it and he said, "I can already tell you're going to like this book.  This book is you."  We love trying new foods and I cook a lot, so I loved reading her descriptions and I'm looking forward to trying the recipes (tomorrow we're making the watermelon feta salad!).  Overall, I loved this book: the stories, the writing and (hopefully) the recipes.  I think it's a beautiful read for anyone who sees food and hospitality as an act of love.  One word of warning:  reading this will make you hungry!  :)

**I received a copy of this book from BookSneeze in exchange for an honest review.

Accepted to BookSneeze!

This week I heard that I was accepted to BookSneeze so I'll be getting more free books and blogging my reviews!

My first pick is Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes by Shauna Niequist.  It should be here in a couple of week so I'm looking forward to reading it and sharing it with you.