Wednesday, July 24, 2013


My junior and senior years in college, I was an RA which meant I was in charge of a hall of about 24 girls.  On Thursday nights, all six RAs for our building would meet in our RD's apartment - I have so many memories from that time!  It changed a bit week to week depending on what we had to discuss, but one part that we almost always made time for was our highlights/lowlights (sometimes we called them our roses and our thorns).

The first time I heard someone say highlights/lowlights I though they were talking about getting their hair highlighted!  :)  But it's actually a way to share the BEST and WORST part of your week (or day, depending on how often you share it).

Highlights/Lowlights are something we plan on using in our family.  Most days I ask Caleb about his day this way.  And when Hadden is bigger (i.e. talking!), we want to do the same.  My goal is to live intentionally and this is one way to do that.

Here's why I like this method:

1) It fosters communication. 
   If you ask, "How was your day?", it's easy for the person to respond with a one word answer.  These are conversation starters.

2) It makes time for reflection
  In college, there were times when I rushed into the RA meeting at the last minute and hadn't had time to process the day yet.  But when it was my turn to share my highlight/lowlight, I had to take a moment to think.  Was my lowlight cramming for a test at the last minute?  Hm. Maybe next time I should start studying sooner!

3)  It leads to intentional conversation
   When Caleb tells me his "lowlight", it correlates with what is stressful or difficult in his life.  When I know his stressors, I can better understand him and help to reduce those if possible.  Conversely, if his "highlight" is going for a run, I can make a note that the next time he is stressed, perhaps I should make sure he gets time to go out and run.
  At our RA meetings, it was a way to really understand the other girls and to hear what was going on in their lives beyond simply "hey, how are you?".  It was a way to both rejoice and mourn with each other as sisters in Christ.

This is one of those easy-peasy things to incorporate into your life, whether it be with your spouse, children, friends, small group or whatever.  But I hope that it will foster good conversations if you choose to give it a try!


  1. Love this post and I loved those meetings=) Thanks for the reminder. I want to start incorporating this into my conversations!!

  2. Those were definitely some of the best parts of meetings. Great idea about working that into family life! I'm going to do it too!!!


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