Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Journal Entry: Monday, January 19th, 2009

Monday, January 19th, 2009
7:00 pm

Missions conference, the IJM org forming on campus, Charity's CD, various verses, the sermon last week...You say that pure and undefiled religion is caring for the widows and orphans.  Lord, I am convicted to the very depths of my soul about my self-centeredness, my materialism, my lack of care and concern for the hurting people of the world.  I want to go minister and be ministered to by these people who have such faith in You, even in the face of persecution.  They are persecuted by their families, their friends, their villages and their government.  Sometimes mere children, these people sing out Your praises with their entire beings.  They never stop to consider whether or not this is "their style" of music, because they recognize that the praise is not directed towards them.

Oh Lord, these people pray for us Americans!  We think that we can somehow send missionaries to "help" them, but in many cases, Jesus, *we* could learn from them.

I never felt "called" to "missions"- what does that even mean?  Jesus has called all of us (if we are Christians) to love the body of Christ whether they be Indian, Khmer (Cambodian), Chinese, Ethiopian or American.

Charity's CD puts faces and stories to overwhelming words like AIDS.  Lord, I want to be ever sensitive to Your will for my life.  Unlike Jonah, I want to run toward Your will.  Guide me, Lord.  I don't want to stay here at Cedarville, but if this is where You want me next year then, Lord, I will do it.  But I don't want this passion to ever fade.  I am no longer comfortable being comfortable.  Issues like child sacrifice, prostitution, slavery, starvation, AIDS, the Untouchables and orphans break my heart, as I believe they break Yours.  Just last week we were singing and said (the prayer of my life) "break my heart for what breaks Yours."  Is this the result of that prayer?  I have seen in the past few years how my heart has been changed toward these issues.  I believe that that was You!  Since I was a little girl, I have been passionate about international adoption and about working in an orphanage.  Then as I got older and I became aware of child prostitution, I wanted to raise awareness and go to Cambodia.  Although I (rather selfishly) never thought that I would want to work with AIDS victims, in the past month I am willing and truly eager to go wherever You would send me.

Grant me contentment wherever I am, Lord.  Give me opportunities to share this information about these serious issues with others and hopefully pass the burden on to them.  Jesus, I love You with all that I am and I am eternally amazed at how You rescued me to give me new life in You!!

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