Sunday, September 20, 2009

Per The Request of Natalie ; )

Journal Entry
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
8:20 am

Jesus, brokenness has been on my heart and my mind so much in the past week. From the Nancy Leigh DeMoss book, the clay pot story, "The Hammer Holds" song, reading Jeremiah, going to the AA meeting. Let this Truth penetrate my mind and change me!

At the AA meeting I saw people who were broken. No excuses, no wiggling around the Truth, simply "Hi, my name is _________ and I am an alcoholic." This was no passive label (i.e. I struggle with alcoholism). They accepted full responsibility and named their sin. Oh Jesus, how many times do I blame others for my sin, trying to justify my actions? Brokenness is agreeing with God about the true condition on my heart. What if I started going up to people and introducing myself based on my sin? "Hi, my name is Callie and I am a liar, a gossip, selfish, proud, a whore with my heart"

Of course, there is a balance here because Christ died for my sins! Because of Him I can be defined by new terms (child of God, co-heir with Christ, bride of Christ). Yet in my life I know that I don't have a healthy view of my sin.

As the Puritans prayed O Lord, "Grand me never lose sight of the exceeding sinfulness of sin!"

One day when I stand before the Righteous Judge, I don't want be fumbling around for excuses or shifting blame.

Lord, brokenness is not a one-time lesson. It is a day-by-day choice. Jesus give me the grace to choose brokenness each day. May my life be a paradoxical beautifully broken life that forever emits a beautiful perfume that will tickle Your nose in delight and be indicative of true worship and humble adoration.

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