Mayo Clinic - Introduction Post

Since many people asked for updates on my health and about this trip to Mayo, I decided to simply include it as part of my blog.  This way people can read as they wish and I don't have to worry about sending out emails to multiple addresses.

Heath is personal.  These posts may seem a bit vague (I probably will not go into much detail describing diagnoses).  This is simply because the internet is so public that I wish to keep some privacy.  However, I understand that some people may like more information than what is posted on my blog.  Please feel free to leave a comment here on the blog.  I will probably respond in my next post or (if it is a more personal question) I will respond in a private email to you.

There are days when the pain is overwhelming.

Yet worse than the physical battle is the mental one.

My mind regurgitates old thoughts, ones I thought I had dealt with.

this isn't fair.  is God actually good?  i am in this alone.  why me? my body and my soul ache, they long for refreshment.  will it ever be over?  no one understands  will i ever get answers?

I shut myself off from people who care.  Unintentionally, I shut myself off from God.

"Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?"

I am quick to fatigue.  Quick to forget His gifts.  I long for a land that exudes milk and honey and grumble that He isn't providing.  But I am overlooking daily miraculous provision of manna.

He will work.

He will provide.

He will sustain.

It is not a question of whether He will work miraculously.

He can choose to provide a miracle of healing or choose to provide a miracle of grace.  Each are miraculous in their own way.

The real question is whether or not I will have eyes to see it.

dying is hard work.

I am learning to die.

In order that I might have life.

"For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." romans 8:13

"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you..." colossians 3:4

"I have been crucified with Christ..." galations 2:20

My pride is insidious. My apathy is worse. The answer is easy: I need Jesus.

I need Jesus every moment of every day.

I need Jesus to keep me quiet sometimes (guarding me against saying unkind or untrue words).
I need Jesus to make me talk other days (speaking Truth or speaking praise).

I need Jesus to keep me from loathing my body (abhorring the constant pain).
I need Jesus to keep me from glorifying my body (forgetting that this is just a "tent").

I need Jesus to have a desire to love people (because some days, with some people, I don't).
I need Jesus to keep me from loving people more than I love Him (and value Him and His words supremely).

It is not easy. It is never finished.

Dying is hard work.

engaged. as in, getting married.

The day was April 13th, 2011.

The weather was sublime.

He asked. And I said, "yes!"

I received a stunning sapphire ring (I wanted something different from diamond. And I love my ring).

We spent a couple blissful hours enjoying nature, each other's company and dinner. Then we slowly began telling people, beginning with those closest and most important to us.

Together we are trying to savor these fleeting, happy moments. We haven't set a date or dealt with the "details" of everything yet. We'll start that soon enough. Tonight we're going to celebrate by dinner out at Thai 9 and spending some time thinking, praying and dreaming.

I am working to have the emphasis to be on the MARRIAGE, not the wedding. The most amazing wedding in the world means nothing if the marriage is weak. We are in desperate need of Christ as the center of our relationship now and always.

thank you for celebrating with us!

goin' on a picnic, leaving right away, if it doesn't rain we'll stay all day!

today is beautiful and fresh! my body is telling me to spend the day in bed, but my heart is overflowing with gratitude for this weather which seems to be an echo of eden. spring is officially here!

a celebration was in order.

so i collected some friends and planned a picnic.

first we're driving to yellow springs to pick up food from this incredible place. yum!!

then we'll head over to John Bryan or perhaps The Gorge and find some lovely little spot to picnic.

caleb and i will end the evening seeing this play on campus.

oh happy, happy day!! hope that your day is just as wonderful.

it's an epidemic and extreme cases could be lethal.

it's called senioritis.

Approximately 30 days left of my undergrad career.

The days fly by. And yet they crawl along.


photo from: http://www.averageyouthministry.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/senioritis.jpg

a link to make you think

A Republic of Front Porches by Patrick J. Deneen

Thanks to Marlena for sharing!