when being a good mother means making a fool of myself in public

I thought that marrying a nerd would ensure that I didn't have huge technology fails.

Well, I was wrong.

I know I was wrong because on Friday evening we found ourselves driving 40 minutes away with my jacked-up phone in tow.  H had skipped his second nap that day, but finally fell asleep when we were pulling into the shopping center.  And then he woke up as soon as we parked the car.  Of course.

We made our way into the store only to learn that a new device had been released that very day so they were extremely limited on technicians.  Of course.  And I had completely forgotten that you can book appointments online instead of standing in line.  Of course.  See a trend here?

Thankfully my gracious husband decided to make the best of it.  He should, after all, considering his nerd skills had failed me!  We found a Mexican restaurant next door and soon settled in with a quesadilla, a burrito and a plain tortilla for Baby.  We only had an hour to wait until our scheduled appointment to fix my phone.  Our bellies full and our hearts happy, we watched as a storm swelled outside and enjoyed being warm and dry on the wet, cold, windy night.  Hadden had fun standing in our booth and screeching at other customers.  He was so perfectly a toddler that night.  Busy, yet captivated by the simplest things, like the nearby ice machine that rumbled as customers filled their cups.

Our hour was over and we made our way back to the store.  10 minutes past our appointment time in a busy shop was not boding well with our usually-happy son.  There were so many shiny things and he wanted to touch them all!  My husband and I did a quick back-and-forth about what we should do and ended up agreeing that I should take him outside since there was no telling how long it would be.

Pushing open the huge, heavy glass door, I saw that the rain had stopped, leaving puddles to dodge and a damp, cool breeze.  The shopping area had wide sidewalks and piped in music.  We had adjusted Hadden's stroller seat so that he was facing me as I pushed - I love it that way.  Love seeing his little eyes dart from one thing to the next and being able to talk to him.

Soon, however, Hadden was getting fussy.  It had been a long day, after all, and he was ready to be done in his stroller.

"Shwoooooop"

I suddenly swerved the stroller to the left, making an airplane noise to accompany it.  Then I dodged back to the right again.

His eyes lit up and a smile quickly followed.  I knew that I had his attention and that we'd gone from simply wasting time to having fun.

"Errrrgh."

The stroller came to a sudden halt and then jerked back to a start a moment later.  Hadden laughed uproariously.

All around the shopping area I was swerving and shifting and stopping.  And my son could not stop giggling.  He knew I was being silly and he was loving it.  I tried a few times, to stop in a store and look around, but he soon made it be known that he was tired of shopping.  There are times when he needs to learn to be content with what we are doing.  But I knew this was different.  This was a time when we'd already asked a lot of him and he had been patient for over an hour already.

The shopping center wasn't very busy, so we weren't in other people's way.  But I did get self-conscious a few times as people walked by us.  Man, I'd give anything to be browsing the racks at The Loft right now, but instead I'm doing a ridiculous dance routine with a hefty stroller and a chortling one-year-old.

I think and then over-think my parenting.  I spent a long while thinking through the pros and cons of whether or not my child should own things with characters on them.  I have an arsenal of books, articles and blog posts stored up that deal with protecting your child from abuse and teaching them basic consent about their bodies.  I make sure he is surrounded by books and nature and loving people and sturdy, intentional, well-made toys.  I have Strong Feelings about almost everything in regards to parenting.

All of that boils down to: I really, really, really want to be a good mom.

But pushing my son around that shopping center and hearing his belly laughs as I jerked his stroller back and forth made me think.  I still think of those things are important.  I still want to study and learn and practice to be a better parent.

But sometimes being a good mother is letting go of my self-image.  It is climbing the playground and racing down the slide.  It is getting on all fours and growling like mad as my giggling son hides behind the couch.  And it is making a fool of myself at a shopping outlet to bring a smile to his sweet face.

My son will be grown up one day and I'm sure he'll have a list a mile long of what I did wrong.  Maybe he'll see and appreciate my intentional actions and recognize that I was doing the best I could for him.  Even if he appreciates it, I don't think it will be a memory.

Sometimes being a good mom means letting go of all of my good intentions and ideas to simply be.  To be present.  To be silly.  To be myself.  To let my son see that, in addition to wanting to do well at raising him, I enjoy him!

While all the intentional parts of parenting are important, I'm thinking that the best gift we can give our child is our delight in their personhood.

Hadden was laughing in joy last night, but he wasn't the only one.  I was giggling along with him.  We made a memory that night, which I won't soon forget.

my favorite

My favorite is when he wakes up, rosy cheeked and clad in footy pajamas.

My favorite is when he carries his "lovey" (blanket) around in his mouth.

My favorite is when I say "Let's go upstairs!" and his sweet little legs race over as fast as they can.

My favorite is sharing a bowl of oatmeal with him each morning.

My favorite is how he blows raspberries on my legs and then giggles with delight.

My favorite is when he brings books over for me to read aloud.

My favorite is when his eyes light up when his papa walks through the door.

My favorite is strawberries smashed all over his highchair (and his clothes).

My favorite is when he fetches the ball we threw for him.

My favorite is giving him kisses and hugs before his nap time and saying "I'll be back soon."

My favorite is when he claps along with TV shows.

My favorite is his amusement at brushing teeth.

My favorite is his little hand clutching our clothes.

My favorite is every night when I hold him in front of the mirror after his bath, all wrapped in his hooded towel, and say "Who is that CUTE boy?!" and he smiles at my silliness.

Oh sweet boy, you are my very favorite every moment of every day!

(and your dad isn't half bad either ;)

Hadden's First Birthday

My son turned one recently - talk about a crazy mix of emotions!  The night before his birthday I sat in bed remembering.  He was born late at night so by the time everyone had left our room, we were exhausted.  My husband fell right asleep. The lights were dimmed and one last nurse was silently finishing putting things in order.  I was so, so tired.  Really, the word 'exhausted' doesn't begin to describe how I felt.  But I say there holding this tiny, mewing creature.  I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep, but at the same time, I couldn't sleep.  The room was so quiet and it was just me and him.  I was always cherish the memory of those first moments.

.

{about an hour old at this point}

{taken the morning of his birthday after a riding in the stroller on his daddy's run}

It is incredible how a year changes thing.  I had no idea what a special little person I was holding at that time, but discovering his personality this year has been so much fun.  

When we talked about his birthday, we knew two things.  First, that we wanted to celebrate his amazing life with something special.  And secondly, that we didn't want to do a big party with gifts.  A couple years ago I happened upon this post by another blogger who celebrated her 29th birthday doing 29 acts of kindness to strangers.  I've never read this blog except for this one post (and it took me a bit of work to find it again today), but I remembered what a cool idea it was to skip gifts and instead celebrate a birthday with good deeds.  I've since discovered this website that encourages people to use their birthdays to bless others - awesome!

We decided to use this idea for Hadden's birthday, calling it One for One (one act of kindness for one year of life).  We made birthday announcements and sent them out to friends and family.  We said no to gifts and instead we asked them to send back the postcard (see below) and write about a random act of kindness they did in Hadden's honor.

This, we felt, was a way to celebrate his life and set a precedence for what is truly important in life.  I kept thinking of people getting a surprise blessing because of my son's life.  That's SO much better than toys!

I love that we got to involve so many people, both friends and family.  As the postcards started to be returned, it was fun to read what different people did in Hadden's honor.  Coffee bought for a co-worker, handwritten letters to cheer up friends, meals purchased or prepared for friends, money donated to help build a house in Mexico - it was touching to see how people chose to honor our son.

Since we had a little party for him, I hung up the postcards as decorations.  This was how many we had received on his actual birthday, but since then, the line has been completely filled!  And we still have a few on their way!  We're going to put all the postcards in a little book so that Hadden can read about it when he's older.

In case you're wondering about the party, we kept it very simple - a few friends came over for the evening and (at their request) I made homemade gyros.  

Instead of cake, we made a mini fruit pizzas with oversized sugar cookies, cream cheese/marshmallow fluff "icing", strawberries, blueberries and kiwi.

The babies played and the adults talked, so everyone was happy.  We made balloon streamers a few days before which added a festive touch.  For favors, I gave out balloons filled with helium and little "wedding" bubbles.

This year has been such an adventure with Hadden and I hope that our birthday celebration did justice to his special little life.  I hope that we'll find ways to incorporate "birthday acts of kindness" in the coming years as well.  

Now begins Year Two!

thanks giving

(September 2012)

A staff member at our university used to quote one of his professors and tell us that when Christ returns, the only things He will take with Him are God's Word and God's people - so we should invest our lives into those things.  In that spirit, as I have been ruminating on this holiday, I am reminded of the things for which I am most grateful.

In addition to my many spiritual blessings (which really are the most important), the main things I am thanking Jesus for are these two.  I am humbled and awed by the blessings that they've been in my life thus far.  I am undeserving of such grace.

(also thankful for my parents and siblings today and missing all of you very much! go rock that turkey trot!)

these are a few of my favorite {baby} things

**See PART TWO of this post here

While I was pregnant, I kept seeing Pinterest links to lists of "must have" items for baby.  It was always interesting to see what one mom consider an absolute essential and another mom said she never used.  Clearly all moms are different and all babies are different so there can't be one definitive list.  : )  However I still decided to share some of our favorite things that we use all the time and that have made the first three months easier.  

We waited a couple months to begin cloth diapering to allow ourselves time to adjust to having a baby. Now we use them fulltime unless we are traveling or have company here.  Before Hadden came I did tons and tons of research into all the diaper brands and kinds and we ended up picking BumGenius Freetime All in One Diapers.  They work great for us!  It was definitely an investment to buy these diapers (and we are grateful that a few people gave them to us as baby gifts), but we'll be able to use them with other children and in the long run, we will be saving money and helping the environment.  It took us a little while to get the hang of it and to get on a washing schedule, but it works great for us now.  Plus how cute is Hadden in that diaper?!

It took me until this week to buy this, but I should have invested in these SwaddleMe wraps a long time ago.  They are wonderful!!  Hadden sleeps swaddled up and we tried so many different blankets, but he could kick his way out of all of them and then wake up crying.  And I was always a terrible swaddler - Caleb had to do it each night because mine would come undone in about five seconds.  These wraps are super easy to use.  Now he is snuggled up happily and he is sleeping for longer periods, which means we are too (a-mazing!).  They come in three different sizes so you can get one that fits your baby snugly.

Evidently some people suggest waiting a few weeks before giving a baby a pacifier to ensure that they learn to latch correctly.  Some people feel very strongly about this, which is understandable if your baby had problems eating and the pacifier was making it worse.  However, Hadden (from the moment he was born) wanted something in his mouth.  We actually started using these in the hospital (at the suggestion of a nurse) and have used them ever since.  They keep us all happy. : )  We tried switching him to the "normal" pacifiers and he doesn't like them, so, for now, we're sticking with the Philips Soothie Pacifiers.  If you took in the other pictures on this post, you'll see that it makes an appearance in a lot of them as well.  That's because we ALWAYS have one with us!

Ahh.  I love our sling.  It was probably the thing that I was most excited about getting from our baby registry (thanks grandma mays!).  And it has proven to be just as wonderful as I thought it would be.  Again, I did lots of research into the safety, durability and wearability of different slings and decided that the Sakura Bloom would be the best fit for us.  It's lovely.  And comfortable.  We get lots of compliments when we use it and people often ask where they can buy one.  Hadden loves to be in it and I love to wear it.  Sometimes Caleb uses it too.  : )  I cannot recommend this highly enough.  

The cute little newborn hats are sometime hard to get on and off quickly and I'm pretty picky about having his head covered.  So we were looking for a winter hat that would be easy to put on in a hurry and was still cute and we found the perfect on a The Children's Place (I can't find this hat on the website, but there are other cute ones like the giraffe one!).  You can tell from the picture that he's still growing into it, but it should fit him all winter and it definitely keeps him warm.

We debated a long, long time on getting a baby bath.  I did a ton of research into different kinds.  Some people thought it was a waste of money because you only use them for a few months.  Plus then you have to store this bulky thing somewhere.  Other people swear by them.  We didn't own one for the first month or so, but I did NOT like bathing him without one.  He was too little and slippery for me and it made me nervous.  And he cried the whole time, which didn't help.  We ended up just going to Target to look at different kinds and buying the Munchkin Bath Cradle.  It was less than $10 which why we picked it.  I'm going to be honest.  It's not perfect. It's a sponge, so after bath time is done it has to dry somewhere.  But it has been SO great!  Now Hadden loves to take baths!  It doesn't take up very much room either.  He's three months old and we'll probably still be using it for another month or so.  We have already gotten our moneys worth (many times over) and we'd recommend this to anyone who was looking for a cheap solution for baby baths.

And there you have it!  Six things that we recommend to make life with a newborn a little easier.  : )

**Want more reviews?  See a follow up post here

mornings with baby

"every little baby is the sweetest and the best."

anne of the island

Mornings are my favorite time with Hadden.  Most days it's just the two of us.  After his morning feeding and a diaper change we head back to my bed.  I open the curtains to let in the morning sun and put my knees up so Hadden can lay facing me.  For the next twenty or so minutes, I sing and talk to him.  We play "this little piggy", although he hasn't quite found the humor in it yet.  He practices holding his head up and "standing".  Sometimes we Facetime Auntie McKenna or Grandy so that they can see how baby is growing up ever so quickly.  Or take pictures to send to Uncle Patrick (because he is pretty much obsessed with his nephew:).  Hadden is so happy in the mornings and it's absolutely darling to see him smile and coo.  Even though it's just been eight weeks since he was born, we already can see him growing up so we try to cherish every sweet moment we have with him.

welcome little one!!

Introducing...

Hadden Elijah Glorioso-Mays

 Our wee one arrived late in the evening on August 3rd (just in time to share a birthday with his Auntie Elizabeth).  We are smitten!!!  He was wide awake for quite awhile, but this afternoon he is only interested in sleeping and being cuddled (I mean, who isn't interested in those things?).    We are all feeling great at this point!  Hadden has blue eyes and light brown hair.  You can't tell it from these pictures, but he has been very expressive when he's been awake - the nurses were laughing at all the funny faces he was given them the first night.  We'll post more pictures later, but here are a couple quick ones.  

From the doctors and residents to the nurses and techs, we've had the best staff during this hospital stay!  Here is the sign for his bassinet that one of the techs made.  :)

Hi, sweet boy!!

Someone is already proving to be a great papa.  ;)  He's been so great through this whole thing.